It’s been a while – I apologise.
You all know that one half of the She Wears team has been travelling the world, but while Carla hops from island to island armed with her GoPro – what have I been doing?
In all honesty, nothing quite as adventurous (sorry to disappoint).
I’ve been saving for and finally buying my own little house (and then saving again to decorate and furnish it), starting a new job (with more of a soul than encouraging people to develop a gambling addiction), and above all having a bit of a life wobble (reaching my scary age and still having no clue what I’m doing).
But mainly, I’ve been attempting to embrace change – I know, big deal for me. A new home not a million miles away from where I grew up, but far enough away to feel a slight tinge of apprehension, and a life where I’m standing on my own two feet without the reliance or stability of a partner standing right there with me have helped.
In another twist of existential angst, the world of blogging has left me feeling a little defeated. Having a career in digital marketing means I spend my days forging an online path for the company I work for, and while I like to think I’m not too shabby at it, the thought of then coming home and sitting in front of a laptop to do it all again for myself leaves a lot to be desired.
Pathetic, I know.
The thing is, the internet is saturated with women just like me (although the majority don’t actually tend to have degrees in journalism, nor a decade-long career in digital) who have been able to do this for themselves for years and are now expert influencers.
So why bother?
This recent defeatist attitude has been near enough applied to most aspects of my non-working life, and in some ways, it has done me good.
Why bother waiting around for someone who’s unworthy of my time when I can discover I’m much happier by myself? I should take the 10lb weight loss, dust myself off and forget about the person who posed as a unicorn but was nothing more than a lame donkey.
Why bother worrying that at 28, and surrounded by more and more announcements of engagements and pregnancies, I’m not following the trend? I can instead be happy in the knowledge that I’m in fact following the beat of my own drum and those conventional life traditions are just not for me.
And why bother if this little, personal corner of the internet doesn’t propel me into Zoella-esque status? I should use it the way it was originally intended – as a way of writing about the things I like to write about, as a way to hone my digital skills, and as a way to leave my mark on the online world.
So, that’s what I’ve been doing – a mortgage, job change, and minor mental break later – coming out the other side and thinking fuck it, I’m going to do what I want and not worry about it anymore.
Stay tuned 😊
- love Stef x